A Course in Miracles Journal (Day 8)

Background: Welcome to my year-long exploration of "A Course in Miracles," where each day unfolds a new layer of understanding and healing using this unique and vibrant text. This blog chronicles my personal exploration through daily text readings and workbook exercises, offering insights into the profound teachings of forgiveness, love, and perception shifts. The day’s text reading and exercise numbers are in the title of the entry. Join me as we uncover the miracles behind healing and transformation into the spiritually powerful beings we were created to be. 

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Today’s ACIM Journal Entry:

This Evening.

I began this evening staring at my messy desk—a tangible representation of the unsorted emotions lingering in the main section of my home.

When I returned from Nomad Cruise, I felt a strong call to clean out my space, to confront incomplete expressions of business ideas, journals, stories, and more. I was called to finish these remnants and release them, as my energetic standard had clearly been elevated.

Yet somewhere along the way, I lost my momentum and drive. I became submerged in the rising tide of thoughts and emotions. While I made some progress today, it has now been a month since my return.

Why this lingering? And yet, why this rush?

I’m tired of time slipping through my fingers. I let it pass, hoping to heal more, to go deeper, and to release these next layers of pain.

Healing has become my full-time job lately—one that seems to drag on without paying me in monetary terms.

But money is precisely why I sit here healing. I cannot return to the corporate world, and the grit and discipline that once brought me success feel broken. I can no longer manifest through sheer force of will.

I find myself caught in duplicity: unwilling to return to what I know and unable to align with the next step. Or perhaps that’s a lie I’ve been telling myself.

Some things are aligning for me: Amanda Francis’s Pulling Money Out of Thin Air series, A Course in Miracles, and other guiding resources.

As I glared at my desk, I noticed tension in my stomach. I realized I could consciously release it. As I relaxed those muscles, more of me began to let go. Energy started flowing through areas of my brain, neck, and face that I hadn’t felt in some time.

I don’t fully understand what I released, but I know it was part of a miracle in progress.

That miracle’s energetic shift seemed to echo throughout today’s Text reading.

Text.

I loved the beginning of today’s Text. The idea that I was created in God’s likeness, by God, who is a creator—and that He loves to create new things—resonated deeply.

This explains my own love of creating! It’s part of God’s likeness in me. Though perhaps obvious to others, this new framing felt fresh and affirming.

The text goes on to suggest that if God is perfect, then His creations are perfect, and by extension, so are mine. But I struggle with this idea because my creations don’t always yield the results I desire.

When my creations seem to fall into a void, I feel like a void myself. Insecurity follows.

While I honor the text’s logic and conclusive statements, I fail to see this truth reflected in my perceived reality—a reality shaped by the past, as the text would remind me.

I suppose the text would say that fear has been interjected. And so, I circle back to why I’m not creating much these days: fear of inadequacy.

I believe that once I’m healed and aligned—when I feel or understand or experience enlightenment—I will find the courage to co-create again. Until then, I feel trapped by fear, destined to fail.

Is this perfectionism? Certainly. But it’s perfectionism rooted in the premises of the Text thus far. This realization frustrates me and even stirs anger.

Of course, previous Workbook lessons remind me: I am not upset for the reasons I think I am. And what I am upset about is not real—it’s rooted in the past.

Workbook.

Today’s lesson felt like a familiar meditation: a simple request for gentle observation. Though a task I’ve practiced before, any self-observation offers an opportunity for growth, love, and gratitude.

I’m grateful for the Workbook’s guidance to sit and observe.

During the meditation, a series of thoughts—perhaps five to seven—surfaced and passed. I gently observed them, and now, I no longer recall their content.

Text (Revisited).

I still feel unsettled by today’s Text. I went back to reread verses 9–12 and realized my ego was upset. It wanted to throw a tantrum.

A part of me craves to feel special, separate, and of higher value. That part also wants to believe it has control over my inner workings and energy fields.

But I am willing to release this part of me. It holds no real value—not in truth. I honor and accept this.

The ego creates a distorted reality rooted in fear, needs, and separateness—the very things the Text has been challenging all week as incongruous with Oneness and Love.

Conclusion.

I end here today, recognizing the inner divide within me. I gently observe this duality and the duplicate realities it creates within my experience.

Love, Acacia

“All quotes are from A Course in Miracles, copyright ©1992, 1999, 2007 by the Foundation for Inner Peace, 448 Ignacio Blvd., #306, Novato, CA 94949, www.acim.org, used with permission.”