A Course in Miracles Journal (Day 12)
Background: Welcome to my year-long exploration of "A Course in Miracles," where each day unfolds a new layer of understanding and healing using this unique and vibrant text. This blog chronicles my personal exploration through daily text readings and workbook exercises, offering insights into the profound teachings of forgiveness, love, and perception shifts. The day’s text reading and exercise numbers are in the title of the entry. Join me as we uncover the miracles behind healing and transformation into the spiritually powerful beings we were created to be.
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A Course in Miracles (Day 12) | 12.3.2024
In general, the energetic shifts are becoming more prevalent on the physical plane, both in the opportunities and money coming to me, and in my determination.
In my human design/Sphinx reading for the week, I got Death. In fact, the cards I’ve gotten both in the daily and the weekly and monthly readings for December (today is Dec 3) have all been signs I have not yet experienced with this program, yet they have been spot on.
I’m sure it has not been a coincidence.
What I love is that my message for the week was the Death Card. I am ready to let the old elements fade. I actually get excited when I see the Death Card or the Tower Card.
I know many people would shudder at the thought of them, but for me, any major shift or change that goes towards my goals and aspirations is worth it—even if it’s challenging.
I did not get the Tower card this week, but as an example, the only time I have received it was in my first tarot reading to myself, and what ended up collapsing was the Ted Talk I wrote—and my goodness, was that talk’s collapse not beautiful in the end!
Oh, I cried. Oh, I was frustrated. But I knew not to quit. Sooo worth it! That’s even the story that I told the angel boy the other day that helped him in his spiritual dilemma!
Today, this week, the cards are once again on point, and I am determined to use that shift to my advantage.
I’ve also noticed a greater clarity in my resources to myself when I observe something less than ideal in my life. I’ll do a behavior or have a thought—something quasi-habitual—and in the moment be all, “I wonder what’s at the core of that less-than-ideal behavior?”
And the weird thing is, I will get a voice clear as day that doesn’t mince words or give me a superficial answer—it cuts to the core with honesty and clarity, as such love as if the response is a miracle in itself.
The one I had moments ago was this: I have a little hand mirror that I use to pick at the zits and cysts on my face. It has been an ask of mine to create the energetic shifts to halt it, but until that happens, I pick at it often—sometimes more than once a day.
That’s changed over recent years, but I’m far from where I’d like to be in trusting my body to cleanse itself.
To help this, I listed this habit on my Death Card list and even placed the little mirror next to the Death Card on my TV stand as a reminder that this way of behaving is on its way out.
Yet, I instinctually reached for the mirror. My gentle observer within me noticed this and asked why. The reply?
“Because you like to win.”
What? In years of exploring the causes of the acne and why I pick at it, this has never appeared. Many layers—from the bathroom being where I sought refuge from my parents’ abuse, to it being how I hate myself, then inner anger at how I was made to feel when I ate growing up. Anger. Pain. Self-hatred. All items on the list I’ve slowly chipped away at.
Even my mother says this is the best my skin has ever looked!
But the mirror is still a crux, and now I can explore the “winning” vibration behind my reaching for it. Why does picking and punishing myself for my skin trigger a battle around power for me?
What’s the inner struggle I have about power, powerlessness, and winning? I ask.
Then the fear enters. The fear of release.
Text.
The Text of A Course in Miracles this week was right in that space of energetic change, too.
I had read the text yesterday morning after a calling, despite being late to start my day. It was longer than normal yet hit right at the core of many of my callings and teachings.
I reread that section today for two reasons:
There was little in the text I could not directly relate to, and I want that to set in.
Because I was late in my day when I read it, I was unable to do any more than make markings in the book for this journal entry.
The Function of the Miracle Worker
The fear of release. This is an exact item I am 1) aware of on the physical plane and the energetic, and 2) am grateful to understand I am not alone in experiencing it.
It is also what has come up in my latest skin-clearing question after my realization that I pick at/force zits and cysts to rupture because I want to feel like a winner.
This point is also one that I will refer back to when teaching and coaching others.
That is the underlying fear that the mind can harm itself.
OMG, I love this one! I love it because I have felt, feared, and thought it many times in recent months. As I look to clear my mind and third eye chakras using the same physical and mindful techniques I’ve been using for over a decade, I get the pushback that doing so may trigger some physical ailment like a stroke, blood clot, or other harmful form from my mind.
These concerns did not cross my mind (much) for any other organ. Removing the anger from my liver and the bitchiness from my middle intestine, I did not worry I may cause an ulcer. I took care as to not harm myself, but energy moves and the release of energy is healing.
But my mind fought back.
As it did, I started to wonder if its concerns were real or just attempts to deflect me from change. Change and healing can be scary for a few reasons:
It takes us into the unknown. We are hardwired to want to stay safe, stay in the comfort zone.
The shift could “kill” us. Death is the body’s ultimate fear.
I’ve faced it a number of times in hypnosis, and I love when I walk through clearer on the other side. Yet that elevated heart rate and panic are real. The physiological response does in fact occur at a noticeable level.
I took my mind’s fear of physical harm from changing my mind’s energies as a fear aimed at resisting change. So I did not allow it to deter me.
But I did allow it to soften my pace… until now.
The text states that this is irrelevant because nothing the mind creates really exists.
My mind is afraid of the monsters it perceives. The monsters and the fear are not real.
Physical Medications Are a Form of “Spells.”
This is something that has bothered me for a while and a topic I could write a book on.
It bothers me that many Western medicine workers treat symptoms and not causes. This, however, is because patients seek treatment for the noxious symptoms, unaware of the physical root cause. (It is clear the real cause is energetic misalignments or traps created from fear from the mind.)
Both the patient and the doctor remain ignorant of the root cause, nor do they seek it. They instead try to return to a less-than-state of annoyance that existed before the symptoms appeared.
This approach is possibly my first documentable energetic miracle in my personal story. I was fed up with being in my 20s and having chronic health issues. I was paying for test after test for the results to be inconclusive.
They were guessing, and I was paying for their misguided education.
I followed conventional wisdom to do all the primary tests and examinations for years, but then I had enough. I wanted answers.
Root answers.
That was when things started to shift. While two key items occurred—one in the Western medical world where a doctor heard me, truly heard me, for the first time in years—they called for a test that led to the discovery of an autoimmune issue I had.
I am grateful that after our years together, she finally allowed herself to hear me and for the universe to give me the right words in those moments.
But the other was a leap of faith. I could spend $400 on yet another “maybe this is it” test, or I could change the practitioner’s practice and go to a homeopath.
Within minutes, the homeopath recognized the root causes and granted me a solution. Oh, I hated the solutions, but they gave me a choice: remain with the mindset and behaviors I had before and yield the same medical challenges, or accept and learn to shift my mindset and behaviors in hopes of a better life.
That better life was apparent within weeks and exists today.
I carry this thinking and approach into many elements of my life, but when it comes to medical issues—from physical to mental and emotional health—I remain dedicated to cutting to the core root cause rather than being distracted in the sandbox by symptoms.
Speaking as a Healer
I have also physically felt these elements myself. When there are opportunities to speak as a healer, I can feel myself letting go. My ego, my mind, my body shift—almost turn off—and instead, I find myself in a state of presence. The words and phrases flow out of me as if they are not my own.
This also happens when I sense someone’s pain, panic, or tension. I do not energetically lean into it. Instead, I step back into my zone of peace and ask the Oneness what, if anything, I should do or say in response.
The responses are often ideal for the recipient based on the scenario.
Yet, this is far from perfected for me. My ego and mind sometimes find their way into these situations, preventing me from remembering to return to the Oneness. While I am physically and energetically aware, my mind is too involved in the moment to allow the space for that remembrance.
I do not judge this. Instead, I appreciate with living gratitude my awareness of it. I am grateful to be on this journey of observation, as there was once a time when I was never aware of its opportunity. Each instance is a reminder that I am exactly where I am meant to be.
Verse 6
I do not fully understand this yet. I am familiar enough with it to align and agree, but I cannot yet comprehend its true teachings, awareness, or applications.
Verse 7
Unlike Verse 6, this section relates well to my familiarity with plant medicines like ayahuasca and San Pedro (Huachuma).
Turning away from physical sight and toward spiritual sight—I feel this is something plant medicine helps us with. It shifts our physical focus, including sight, away from the current focal frame and turns us inward and outward simultaneously—toward a place of spiritual connection. This connection is all around us and within us.
This leans into the next line about “being afraid of what your spiritual sight will show you.”
This is what people are really afraid of when it comes to plant medicine. They are afraid of their real selves. They fear seeing their lies. They fear losing control—a phrase I hear often.
It was my justification in the beginning too as to why I wouldn’t try “drugs” or “psychedelics.” Now, I laugh at the conclusions I once made about these medicines and their characteristics.
“Vision” is one of these. When someone has a vision, I used to assume that they would lose connection to who they are, where they are, and be at physical and mental risk to induce the state necessary for the vision to occur.
Now, I appreciate that a vision is no different than the visuals that arise from a nostalgic memory or my mind’s completion of a scene cut off in a photograph. Imagination is nothing more than the ability to visualize something that is not physically present. We do not mock imagination.
Images exist in our minds always—whether sober, drunk, high, blissful, creative, or in a state of meditation. It does not matter.
The idea of being afraid of what is already within you is like saying you don’t want to acknowledge that you have a nose to breathe through because you worry about its congestion preventing deep breaths.
They are one and the same. Which also means you cannot lose yourself by shifting from one mindset to another. It’s still you. The only thing that shifts is the mind’s perception of fear blocks.
Charity Verses
I do not understand these yet.
At first, my mind went to Wallace D. Wattles’ idea that focusing on poverty by having thoughts of the poor perpetuates it. Charity does not solve the ethical root cause of the problem; it only softens its current impact while doubling as a motivator for the afflicted to remain in a state of need.
Therefore, Wattles suggests, it is best not to think of or focus on poverty (or anything one seeks to eradicate) even by means of charity.
Initially, I thought the Text’s use of the word “charity” might mean pitying another’s fear, which could cause similar harm as outlined by Wattles. However, the Text states that miracles are an expression of charity and that when we share or give miracles to another, we are offering charity.
Timelessness
“In timelessness, we coexist with God.”
Each time I read this, my mind initially goes to a timeless and classic timepiece, like a Tiffany’s or Harry Winston-esque watch. I smile, thinking of timeless jewelry as being one with God.
“I am here only to be truly helpful.
I am here to represent Him Who sent me.
I do not have to worry about what to say or do, because He Who sent me will direct me.
I am content to be wherever He wishes, knowing He goes there with me.
I will be healed as I let Him teach me to heal.”
Initially, I planned to type these words and close this section, but as I reread them, I saw their beauty. It is a lovely, timeless reminder that we are as we should be, where we are meant to be, exactly when, where, and how we are meant to be there.
This often starts for me with the phrase, “You are exactly where you are meant to be,” which I repeat in moments of doubt or fear that I have made a mistake in life.
As I let go of those pain-based associations, I began to question my qualifications, perfection, value, and worthiness. I thought: great, I’m supposed to be here, but I could have done better leading up to this moment. I felt I had failed in my past to prepare myself.
In response, I added: “I am exactly where I am meant to be, as I was meant to be here.”
I share this line with others when the calling arises, and they too find it helpful.
Workbook Reflections
Apparently, I had completed Lesson 12 of the workbook yesterday too: “I am upset because I see a meaningless world.”
This lesson triggered rage and anger in me, as it did again today while driving. Yesterday’s frustration arose because I dislike having negative viewpoints. The statement about a “meaningless world” felt cruel and negative.
The exercise explains that the goal is neither positive nor negative connotation, but I couldn’t help feeling the rage. I recognize that my associations with the word “meaningless” were placed by my mind, but the idea that everything created by God or Universal Intelligence is meaningless offended me.
If humans were made perfect, shouldn’t our creations have meaning?
The section reads: “What is meaningless is neither good nor bad.” It explains that we must remove belief systems—good or bad—to see the holiness beneath them.
I look forward to how the book will guide me past this infuriation and the emotional trigger this lesson has become for me.